Friday 4 June 2021

Maintaining Boundaries While Dating Online*

With so much choice out there when it comes to dating sites, apps or any other form of dating for that matter, it can be easy to get swept up in the excitement of meeting someone new. Now that Covid-19 restrictions are slowly lifting in the UK it can be all the more important to make sure not to forget the fundamentals of keeping yourself safe and avoid uncomfortable or unpleasant situations.


As much as it’s a nice thought that everyone out there is 100% genuine, with no ill intentions and is no danger to anyone, that sadly isn’t the case, which means there are certain things we need to bear in mind when scrolling through sites such as an Aberdeen Dating Site. Whether the location be Bristol, Manchester  or Aberdeen Dating, the points to remember are fundamentally the same.


An important factor, if not the most important factor is boundaries. Boundaries are important to implement and maintain when it comes to any form of relationship, but they are especially important when it comes to relationships that are newly formed or with people we don’t know very well.


Boundaries allow us to decide and communicate what is and isn’t ok. If someone asks you for a naughty pic and you aren’t comfortable with it, or don’t want to for any reason, you are more than within your rights to say so. If you say no, and the other person doesn’t take it well, what do you have to lose? The attention of someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries? Hardly something to be considered a loss.


That same goes for what you are comfortable with receiving. No, I’m not just talking about the ridiculous idea of men sending random women dick pics, although I suppose that also falls into this bracket. What I am referring to here is gifts and displays of affection. Sure, both can be nice, given the right circumstance, but overly elaborate gifts or a huge amount of affection can be uncomfortable, especially early on. Even more so when a polite decline is ignored.


Aside from the fact that ‘love bombing’ can be a rather substantial red flag when it comes to partners, this again boils down to respect – or a lack of. You don’t owe anyone anything, certainly not someone you barely know, and if their advances, gifts, behaviour, whatever makes you uncomfortable, you are well within your right to say so.


The last point I want to touch on is boundaries that you may not have necessarily specified, but those that make themselves clear in any given situation. If something feels off, then it more than likely is. This doesn’t have to be as dramatic as full on abuse online, sometimes it is far more subtle, and you can’t even put your finger on what it is specifically has made you feel uncomfortable.


In this scenario my best advice is to trust your instincts. They pick up on far more than we give them credit for and if someone feels ‘off’ there’s a good chance that your unconscious mind has seen someone that your conscious mind hasn’t picked up on yet.


I could go on and on about boundaries, as I said earlier, they apply to a multitude of settings, but that just about covers everything I wanted to today.


What do you do to establish boundaries?

* This is a sponsored post, please see my disclaimer for more information


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