Wednesday 1 July 2020

June Look Back | 2020



June felt like a bit of a roller-coaster for me, so I’m quite glad to now be in July. It’s now the month of my birthday, the last birthday that starts with a 2 in fact (eeek) and it’s also this blogs first birthday too!  


The month of June is the month that Mike and I were supposed to get married. The start of June we were supposed to be in Nashville, Tennessee with our closest friends and family for our wedding day, but that’s now been postponed to 2021. When we arrived home, we were supposed to then have a very small legal wedding here in the UK, just us, the two witnesses and the registrar. Simply because it was easier, cheaper and far less stressful to do it that way than jump through all the hoops required to have our overseas wedding be legal here at home. Heck, if we could have avoided the witnesses we would have, simply because that day wasn’t the ‘special’ one as far as we are concerned.

 

Sadly we didn’t get the UK side done either, as our local registry office in Norwich had postponed all ceremonies. They’ve now been given the go ahead by the government from 4th July, where they’ll start to re-book all the couples in the same position as us, but with the backlog dating back to March, we could be waiting a little while. It doesn’t sound like the council have quite decided how they are going to go about things yet, which is rather frustrating given that suspension of ceremonies was obviously going to be lifted at some point. It’s kind of like sitting at a traffic light and being surprised when it turns green… Either way, things seem to be moving in the right direction so hopefully we’ll receive some good news on that front soon.

Our lovely friends have been absolutely fantastic, and my closest friend and bridesmaid Katie even surprised us by giving us our wedding present from them all, on the day we were supposed to get married. They’ve put together a lovely book full of photos of Mike and I throughout the years and each written their own little messages wishing us well in our married life. She’s forewarned she’ll be taking the book back, as there were loads of people she couldn’t get it to thanks to lockdown, but it was really thoughtful of her not only to put it together, but to let us see it on our would-be wedding day. The thought and care that went into everything cheered us up immensely and enforced quite how lucky we are to have such wonderful people in our lives.

 




Something that was rather a shame though, was when she then mentioned parents. She told us she hadn’t managed to get the book to Mike’s Mum at all as she lives a few counties away, but that his mum had written a message for us to read instead that she had sent to Katie via text. At that point Katie turned to me, with an expression that could only ever mean bad news and told us “we did manage to get it to your parents… but they refused to sign it”. She then went onto explain that she’d passed it to my brother so that he could get it to my family so they could sign it, but they’d refused and had apparently come out with some hurtful comments toward Mike.

 

A call with my brother told me all I needed to know, and he explained to me that they had refused to sign it because there weren’t photos of them (despite blank pages being left in the middle of the book for photos of us both with our families) and because our friends referred to us as ‘family’ within a lot of their comments, which was somehow perceived as hurtful. In addition to that he told me that my Dad in particular had come out with some very hurtful comments in a later phone call, the targets appearing to be mainly Mike, with a few jabs at my bridesmaids too.

 

It’s such a shame, because my parents and I have been patching up our relationship over the past few months, and I’ve made a real effort to reach out and keep in touch with them, and they’ve twisted it. They’ve taken something good, and well-meaning and tried to turn it rotten. Considering we went a year with no contact not that long ago, and we’ve been attempting to fix and mend things it’s a massive shame. I had feared things wouldn’t truly change and would eventually start to slip, but I’m disappointed that I was right. Of course lots of excuses have been made about not signing the book, but the larger issue of disrespectful and hurtful comments being made about those closet to me was glossed over and ignored. Anyway, I don’t want to dwell on my family issues too much, so let’s move on.

 


There was a lot of positivity this month that followed the slightly relaxed restrictions on lock down. It’s been lovely to be able to see people, even if it does feel very strange to still have to stay away from them. I’m a hugger, I hug my friends when I see them, when they leave, or at random other points so having to break that habit has felt nothing short of weird. Weirdness aside, seeing them, catching up with them and having a small slither of normality has been wonderful. My friend Katie and I have been off on a few more walks together and explored more of the beautiful country side near our homes, and there’s also been the odd BBQ in the garden too.


 

Since lockdown I’ve gained a little bit of weight, which I’d like to try and shift. With the combination of a lot of lockdown snacks and an extreme lack of exercise if was nothing short of inevitable really. I’ve started Couch to 5k, which so far I’m enjoying and hopefully it’ll get me more into running so I can improve my fitness and shirt some pounds.

 

A couple of months ago I submitted a flexible working request to my work to allow me to work from home on a permanent basis. Whilst there has been no formal response yet my work have made it clear last week that it’s something they are seriously considering and willing to work towards for everyone that wants it, so hopefully I have some positive news on the horizon.

 

That just about sums up my June. Hopefully we’ll have more glorious weather for July and my birthday!

 

How was your June?


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