Saturday 23 November 2019

One Month In │ A Fresh Start

Now, I know this is probably more suited to my monthly lookbacks, but I’m feeling really positive at the moment, and wanted to share my moment.
It's not been a secret, especially for those I'm close with that my work life has been bleeding more and more into my personal life. The reason behind that is fairly straight forward; I was spending 35 hours a week, sometimes more, stuck in a place I didn’t want to be. That's a lot of hours to spend not being happy, and so it really isn't a shock that it started to impact other parts of my life.


Constantly feeling exhausted after a normal day’s work (bearing in mind I work in an office environment), to the point that I would fall asleep on the sofa every evening meant I didn't want to do anything. I felt too drained. My usual hobbies were cast aside, with no motivation to pick them back up. Even something as simple as having a movie night was a struggle, because I couldn't even pluck up the motivation to choose something to watch. That's the thing, when you start to get low, you lose your fire, your mojo it’s hard to get it back.


We all know it can be much easier said than done when it comes to getting your normal self back. To getting back into the swing of things, to get back to managing what would usually be simple everyday tasks. So I decided to draw a line in the sand and try my best to do better, to feel better.


My biggest step started a month ago, when I walked through the doors of a new job. I'm took the biggest drain of my emotional resource and I've got rid of it. 35 hours a week is too long to be unhappy.


Since moving job I feel like a different person… or more, I feel more like myself again. I’ve come to terms with the fact that a lot of what I experienced in my old job from certain people was nothing short of bullying. Yep, I’m going to call it what it was. At the point you do something, and then feel you need to ask me if we’re “still okay” you’ve clearly done something wrong that you feel bad about and want me to alleviate your guilt. So no, we are not okay.


Since moving I’ve found my new team to be friendly and welcoming. There is pretty good banter, but everyone seems to have found that balance that means the team is still productive. My ideas are welcomed and valued, and a lot of the time utilised which has done wonders for my self-esteem.


From what I can tell so far, we’ve got a really good boss who genuinely cares about her team. Can ask for much more than that can you?


I have more energy in the evenings, and I’ve got back in the swing of my usual hobbies. I’m feeling confident and happy in myself, and I’m so glad I took the plunge and moved, because it’s made such a huge difference already.  


Yesterday was my first month review and it went great. My manager was really positive and gave some really lovely feedback from the people I’m working directly with.

Things are really looking up as far as my working life is concerned, and it’s starting to show in my personal life too. I can’t wait to see how things progress from here.


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