Friday 14 February 2020

Love Yourself First This Valentines Day

The month of February plays host to an event that can either bring excitement or dread to all who hear the word... that’s right, it’s Valentine’s Day. It seems like there is so much more hype about it these days than there used to be, or perhaps I never really noticed it when I was younger. Either way, it seems almost a bit over the top these days.

Whether you are single or taken, it seems this day brings with it a large sense of obligation. Those who are single are made to feel as if they are inadequate or missing out in some way, even though they may be perfectly happy being free and single. On the flip side, those who have partners are made to feel that they have to go all out, or they are a terrible people.

It’s almost expectation that you must find someone to spend the day, evening, whatever with, almost just for the sake of it. I myself am always a little reluctant to acknowledge it fully, simply because it falls within a couple of days of Mike’s birthday, and I don’t want to dull the shine of his special day. Luckily he’s always surprised me in one way or another, as he has this year, which is lovely.

In contrast I remember many years ago, when my partner at the time flat out refused to acknowledge the day in any way, saying “why should the men make all the effort?” and whilst his comment wasn’t totally without a point, I remember feeling pretty unimportant, and to be honest a little jealous when my female friends got flowers and presents from their boyfriends and mine simply couldn’t be bothered.

What took me a while to get my head around was that he couldn’t really be bothered at many other points in the rest of the year, so I shouldn’t really be upset just because that indifference happened to fall across that one day in the middle of February as well. I guess it just shone a light on it a bit more at the time. I mean, this is the same partner that forgot my birthday, and then blamed me because I should have reminded him…

I ended up instead spending Valentines with my best friend. We got a load of food in, cooked a dinner and had a girly movie night together. I see far more now than I did at the time that I didn’t need to get anything from my partner to feel happy. There were plenty of other people around me who loved me, and all I really needed were my friends and my family.

The point I think I’m trying to make is that you shouldn’t feel pressured or inadequate just because of one day in the year. Sure, having a partner that buys you flowers, spoils you and wants to spend time with you is great, but it isn’t and certainly shouldn’t be the be all and end all when it comes to how you feel in yourself. It’s important for you to be happy in your own skin, with or without the influence of a significant other.

Life isn’t always straight forward, and just because you don’t have someone to celebrate valentine’s day with, or your special someone can’t be there for whatever reason, it doesn’t matter, and it has no bearing on your value or self-worth. Buy yourself flowers, have a night out with the girls, or a chill evening at home with a facemask, do whatever makes you happy, and spoil yourself a bit. After all, the most important love is the love we give to ourselves.

Whether you will be going all out, ignoring the day completely or maybe even something in between, make sure to love and look after yourself first. Ultimately, it’s just another day in the month.



  1. I enjoyed this post. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it. Happy Thursday.

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